The really good news is that the surgeon says they got all the cancer. The less than great news is that they were unable to preserve his plumbing and had to do a colostomy. This is certainly not what we would have hoped, but is far less intrusive or life-changing than a less successful result as far as the cancer is concerned.
The surgery took about four hours, followed by 2 hours in recovery and now he's in ICU. Thank God for Terri, Olivia and Gretchen (Steve's sister) waiting with me! We finally got to see him in ICU around 4:45. He really looked surprisingly good - given what he's been through. And, despite being in a lot of pain - and really laying on the morphine button - he was shockingly alert. Moreso than I would have wanted, to be honest. I didn't want to have to tell him about the colostomy today, but he pinned me down and asked me directly and I could not - would not - lie to him.
Still it was heartening to see him gamely trying to make a joke or ask if he "looked good enough" to see his girlfriends when Olivia and Terri were coming into the ICU. He is, and always will be, Steve - colostomy or not.
The ICU is closed for visitation right now for rounds and opens up again at 8:30. Terri and Gretchen went back to the house and I came back to spend a little time with him. I can stay here all night if I want, but I think when I'm here he is trying to stay awake. And he really needs to sleep as much as he can right now. So I'll probably spend a half hour-45 minutes with him and then when he falls asleep (deep enough to snore like he did when we were in before), I'll head home and get some much needed rest myself. I also want to spend some time online looking up information on colostomy so I have intelligent questions for the doctor tomorrow.
I was fairly numb when he talked to me today after the surgery. I was not prepared for it - even though we knew it was a possibility - after all the chemo and radiation we felt good that it was a remote possibility. I'll know more tomorrow, I hope, about why that wasn't the case.
Nonetheless what I kept repeating to him is what I have to keep repeating to myself: they got all the cancer. Truly, that's what really matters.
Laura
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5 comments:
Steve and Laura --
Sending you good thoughts from Central Jersey. As we've come to learn, you've got to keep your eye on the big prize - Steve is with us and he'll be healthy and home again soon. There will be good days and not-so-good days but in the whole scheme of things, getting rid of that cancer is the important thing!
Mar and Brian
Laura - I'm sending out big, big hugs for both of you. I know this is a tough result to accept. I also know both of you are up to dealing with anything, come what may, as long as you have one another.
I'm so happy that Steve came through the surgery so well. Please give him my love when you talk to him.
Right now, I am planning to drive down on Thursday night, Sept. 13. (Unless some kind of great last-minute, direct-flight fare comes along.) I'll stay until Sunday, which should give us time to catch up.
Meanwhile, my head and heart are with you both.
The Rev. Ms. McGurk
hi guys! i knew dad would make it through the surgery ok - and of course, with good humour! good luck and positive vibes from Canada for the recovery! talk to you all soon. love kristin
Not necessarily the way you wanted things to go, but you're right to focus on the positive. They got the cancer, and that's GREAT news. As you move on through recovery, know that there are people everywhere sending good thoughts your way. Stay strong!
Steve and Laura,
Great to hear Steve made it through the surgery OK. My friend went through the same surgery, it was tough on him at first but now he's back to being better than ever, I'm sure Steve will be as well.
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